Monday, August 31, 2009

Halloween II (2009)

Well let me start by saying that I am a huge "Halloween" fan.  I love the original and several of its sequels.  I was upset with the remake.  I did not like it at all.  I thought I would still give Rob Zombie's "Halloween II" a chance.  I'm glad I did.

One year has passed since the event in the previous "Halloween" film.  Laurie Strode is now lost and depressed.  Michael Myers' body had never been found, but everyone believes him to be dead.  That is until he shows up on Halloween!  Michael again is after Laurie, but this time Laurie knows more about the situation.  She now knows that Michael is her brother.  She does not take it well.

I was actually impressed with "Halloween II".  I liked it much better than the first one.  The biggest reason I liked it more was because Laurie was the main character instead of Michael.  I wanted Laurie to live this time.  I cared.  

Michael Myers is portrayed in a more realistic way in this film.  He is first seen not wearing his mask.  He has a huge, long beard and he wears a vest with a hood.  People in the film believe that he is a hobo.  This explains what he does during the rest of the year.  He just lives, walking in the shadows.  Michael is also much more brutal in this film than in any other "Halloween" film.  He really lets people have it.  His stabbing scenes last about 30 seconds longer than you would expect.  It was a bit shocking.  

What I thought really worked well was how the audience sees what is going on inside Myers' mind.  His mother appears as an eerie white apparition to Michael and she orders him to kill.  She tells him to get Laurie so they can be a family again.  Sheri Moon Zombie, as Michael's mother, did a good job.  She was very scary.  Along with his mother, Michael himself appears as an apparition.  Michael sees himself as a little boy along side his mother.  Now these ghostly images of Michael and his mother work, when inside Myers' mind.  When Michael finally catches up with Laurie, Laurie can see them too.  They are inside her mind and they hold her down so she doesn't get away.  I didn't like that so much.  I thought that Zombie should have waited until the very last scene to show that Laurie can see them too.  That would have been more shocking.

While all of this is going on, Dr. Loomis is promoting his new book about the events of the previous Halloween.  He is being criticized by everyone and he is being blamed for the deaths of countless people.  It was good to have this story line to take breaks from the action, but at the same time, I would have liked to see Loomis have more to do with the story.

I was really impressed this time with Brad Dourif's performance as Sheriff Brackett.  He really expresses his concerns and love for his daughter and Laurie.  It was a job well done.

Overall, "Halloween II" was a good sequel.  Zombie does an OK job directing.  I still don't think he is the best director, but at least he made some original decisions in a genre that has become stale with time.

B+  I recommend it.

Anger Management (2003)

Adam Sandler plays a mellow man who somehow is required to take anger management courses taught by Jack Nicholson.  Sandler was on a plane and he asked for headphones.  The stewardess freaked out and called security.  He was then sent to court, but instead of going to jail, he was given those classes with Nicholson.  Nicholson ends up being more crazy than any of his patients.  He himself has anger management issues, but Sandler has to do everything Nicholson says to avoid jail time.  Ultimately because of Nicholson, Sandler loses his relationship with his girlfriend played by Marisa Tomei.  Nicholson starts to go out with her.  Sandler then has to fight to get her back.

"Anger Management" is a ridiculous movie.  It just didn't make sense why Sandler would have to do all of these anger management courses, when he didn't do anything.  It all didn't make sense until the end.  Supposedly, the entire thing was set up by Sandler's girlfriend so he could get his confidence and ask her to marry him.  It was so stupid.

The movie was so bad.  Even Nicholson overacted everything in this film.  Nothing was funny and frankly, I was bored.  The only character that was worth while was the anger management patient played by John Turturro.  He was good.

"Anger Management" is a poor film.  There is no point to watch this.  It is a waste of anyone's time.  If you haven't seen it, be happy.


The Bad News Bears (1976)

Walter Matthau plays a drunk named Buttermaker.  Buttermaker has been hired to manage a little league team, which has more misfits than the Island of Misfit Toys.  Buttermaker has to somehow bring this team together and get his life back into shape.

"The Bad News Bears" is one of my favorite baseball movies.  It is perfect in every way.  I honestly can't think of anything wrong with the film.  There are several scenes that make me laugh every time I see it.  My favorite scene is when Matthau has his first practice with the team.  The Bears are terrible.  The best part of the practice is when the fat catcher, Engelberg gets chocolate on the baseball.  It is funny how angry Engelberg gets when Matthau confronts him.  The funniest baseball play during a game is when there is a squeeze bunt happening.  Engelberg gets the ball and since he is the catcher, there is no one to cover home plate.  So what does he do?  He throws the ball to the umpire.  I laugh hysterically every time.

Walter Matthau is great in the film.  The reason the film works so well is because of the changes Matthau goes through.  In the beginning of the film, Matthau doesn't care about a thing in the world.  All he wants to do is be left alone and drink.  By the end of the film, Matthau cares about the team and he has rekindled his father-like relationship with his ex-girlfriend's daughter.  

All of the acting is excellent in the film, but besides Matthau, the best performance is by Vic Morrow.  Morrow plays a manager on an opposing team and he is just wonderful.  He is perfectly cast and he plays the role exactly like a little league coach would act.  Tatum O'Neal also does a good job in playing Amanda.  At first she will not play baseball because she is becoming a woman.  She then decides to play and has a great time.  And, as I said before, she and Buttermaker become close like they were long ago.  

"The Bad News Bears" is one of my favorite movies.  Each character stands out on his own.  After one viewing, you will remember every single member on the Bears baseball team.  It is a film that could never be remade.  Unfortunately, Hollywood tried.  They failed.

A-  I recommend it.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Futureworld (1976)

Sequel to "Westworld".

Three years after the incident at Westworld, an all new world  at Delos has opened.  That world is Futureworld.  Guests can now come to an all new resort which gives you an option of Futureworld, Romanworld, or Medievalworld.  

Peter Fonda and Blythe Danner play reporters who visit Futureworld to do a report.  Fonda is positive that something fishy is going on and he does some research.  He eventually finds out that the company is not only creating robots, but they are creating human clones of their guests!  The clones are made to kill the original human versions and take their place in the real world.  Eventually the entire world will be in control of Delos.

The story sounds good, but the film was just plain bad.  It was very boring.  Most of the film was just Peter Fonda sneaking around.  The entire film was just bland.

The thing I was waiting for in this film was the return of Yul Brynner as the Gunslinger.  Unfortunately, he is only in one scene.  That scene is a terrible dream sequence from Blythe Danner.  She is dreaming of having a romantic evening with the Gunslinger.  Now Danner's character has never met the Gunslinger and she knows nothing about him.  So why would she be dreaming of him?  The entire thing does not make sense.  It is embarrassing.  

Fonda ends up running into a maintenance man who helps him find out the truth about Delos.  The maintenance man has a robot whose face is missing.  The robot is his only friend.  Now I thought the twist was that his robot was going to be the Gunslinger.  Unfortunately, this was not true.  It was a missed opportunity.  

"Futureworld" is not even close to being as thrilling as "Westworld" was.  Yul Brynner made "Westworld" and without him in a starring role, "Futureworld" does not work.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Manhattan (1979)

"Manhattan" is a story of many different types of relationships.  Woody Allen is a divorced man who is in a relationship with a 17 year old high school student.  Allen's ex-wife, played by Meryl Streep, is writing a book about how terrible their relationship was.  He is not happy about that.  Michael Murphy plays Allen's best friend who is having an affair with Diane Keaton, even though he is married.  Keaton ends up leaving Murphy since she does not want to be a home wrecker.  She starts to date Allen, which means he leaves his high school girl.  Keaton then realizes she is still in love with Murphy, so she goes back to him.  Allen tries to go back with the high school student, who is now 18, but she is planning a trip to London.

All of this sounds very confusing, especially when written down.  With so many characters, you would think the film would be confusing to keep track of who is with who.  But it is not confusing at all.  Allen does a great job writing and directing the film to keep it alive and working.  

Woody Allen also does a great job acting in this film.  He is a great comedic actor who can complain like no other.  Diane Keaton was great and so was Mariel Hemmingway, who was nominated for an Oscar that year.  Hemmingway was the high school student.

I really enjoy how natural everything is in this film.  Every conversation and everything that happens really relates to real life.  I think Allen has an exceptional talent to show the comedy of real life.  My favorite scene is Allen and Hemmingway just lying in bed together watching TV.  They start talking about the phony wig the man on the TV is wearing.  Simple conversation like that is so important in a film like this.  It really makes it stand out.

People that know me know that I am very picky about comedies.  I don't like many modern comedies.  Movies that just go for straight laughs are not my cup of tea.  "Manhattan" however, is the type of comedy I prefer.  It has a splendid mix of comedy with drama.  That is what I like.

B+  I recommend it.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Bedtime Stories (2008)

After telling his niece and nephew some bedtime stories, Adam Sandler comes to find that these stories become reality the next day.  

Sandler works at a hotel that his Dad sold long ago.  When Sandler's father sold the hotel, he made a deal that Sandler would run it when he became old enough.  The hotel owner kept his promise by making Sandler the maintenance man.  

In one of Sandler's bedtime stories, he starts to tell a tale that is very similar to the situation he is having in real life.  Since it is a bedtime story, the kids want a happy ending.  The first story ends with the hero getting a shot at running the castle.  The next day, the hotel owner gives Sandler a shot at running the hotel.  

When Sandler realizes that it is the kids that have control to what really happens, he tries to get the kids to create a story that would give him everything he desires.  Instead of being greedy, the kids help Sandler realize what is important in life.

"Bedtime Stories" isn't a bad movie.  It was very enjoyable.  It was fun trying to figure out how exactly the bedtime stories would come to life.  It was a very creative story.

Sandler did an OK job.  He was funny at times and Keri Russell is good as his love interest.  My biggest problem were the kids.  Their dialogue was very poorly done.  It didn't really seem like the screenwriters knew how kids act.  The kids are about 6 years old, but at times they act like their 3.  It was very strange.

The final scene where Sandler has to stop Guy Pearce from blowing up an elementary school was actually very exciting.  Pearce is going to blow up the school to start construction on a new hotel.  Sandler steals a motorcycle and with Russell on back, they drive as fast as they can to stop him.  Sandler avoids crashes, jumps over a train, and exhibits death defying stunts.  It was totally unbelievable, but it was still rather exciting.  It was also neat that during this race, the film would sometimes cut to Sandler and Russell on a horse instead, like in the bedtime story.  It was a fun way to parallel the two different worlds.

The best part of the movie: Adam Sandler's cellphone ring.  I couldn't stop laughing!

"Bedtime Stories" is a good movie to watch, especially with kids.  It has its problems, but to a kid, it is the perfect movie.

B  I recommend it.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Die Hard (1988)

Bruce Willis plays John McClane, a New York cop who has just arrived to Los Angeles to spend Christmas with his family.  While visiting his wife at her company Christmas party, terrorists take over the building.  Their plan is to rob the company of millions of dollars.  Unfortunately for them, McClane is there to protect and serve... Pain that is.

"Die Hard" is a great action movie.  It has everything an action fan needs.  It has great violence, explosions, tension, and it has some good puns.  You don't really get a lot of time to get to know Bruce Willis' character, but you do relate to him.  Director John McTiernan does a good job establishing exactly who this man is in the first 20 minutes of the film.  In that short amount of time, we learn that he is a man who is in love with his wife, but they had problems because of her job.  She had to move to L.A., but he stayed back in New York.  It is a struggle for their relationship and he seems to have regrets about the way things turned out.  This makes the viewer have sympathy and gives a sense of realism to McClane.  It makes him a likable hero.

I like the relationship that Willis has with Reginald VelJohnson.  VelJohnson plays a cop who is in communication with Willis through a walkie-talkie.  They don't meet until the end of the film, but during this crisis, they seem to really become good friends.

Alan Rickman does a very good job playing the villain.  Rickman is good in everything that he does and this is a fine performance.  His death scene is great.  Showing him fall from the 30th floor of the building was a great stunt. 

The "Die Hard" franchise is one of the most successful film franchises of all time and I can see why.  It is a thrill ride from start to finish.

B  I recommend it.

Tango & Cash (1989)

Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell play two of the best cops in Los Angeles.  A high profile criminal wants to get rid of them so he can commit his crimes without being caught.  He finds a way to frame both of them for murder.  Stallone and Russell then work together to escape from jail and prove to the public that they are innocent.

"Tango & Cash" is a ridiculous movie.  It is fun to watch, but it is so dumb.  The acting by Stallone and Russell is not very good.  I don't like seeing Stallone in these types of roles.  I don't think he pulls off sophisticated characters well.  He needs to be a man of the streets type person.  The dialogue is terrible and extremely corny.  It is bad pun after bad pun.  So much of it was painful.

The action scenes were pretty good, however.  The climactic battle involving explosions and a prototype SUV is quite exciting.  

I like the inside joke in the beginning of the film when a cop says of Stallone "What?  Do you think you're Rambo?"  Stallone replies saying "Rambo is a pussy."  Stallone of course played Rambo.

"Tango & Cash" is a fun movie to watch, just to make fun of.  There is nothing to about it to get your brain working.  It is just mindless fun.


Sunday, August 16, 2009

Dick Tracy Meets Gruesome (1947)

A new bad guy is in town and it is up to Dick Tracy to stop him.  Gruesome is the mastermind criminal who has come up with the perfect plan to rob banks.  He has teamed up with a doctor who has invented a gas that temporarily paralyzes its victims.  With this gas, Gruesome has become the number one criminal for Tracy to catch.

Boris Karloff plays Gruesome and he does a great job.  Karloff got top billing over Ralph Byrd who played Tracy.  The movie is carried by Karloff.  He is perfect as a Dick Tracy villain.  The bone structure of his face is even reminiscent of a criminal in the original Tracy comics.  Gruesome shows no passion for anyone.  This becomes most evident when he shoots and kills a woman at point blank.  It was rather shocking for 1947 I thought.  

One great thing about "Dick Tracy Meets Gruesome" is the humor that is spread throughout.  There is one scene where Tracy's assistant says of Gruesome "You would think we were dealing with Boris Karloff!"  Of course, it was Karloff playing Gruesome.  I love those kind of inside jokes.  I also like the names given to characters to describe their personality or profession.  Examples are X-Ray for the guy who wears thick glasses and a doctor named A. Tomic.  Those were funny as well.

"Dick Tracy Meets Gruesome" is a very fun movie to watch.  All of the acting is well done, but it is Karloff that steals every scene.  

B+  I recommend it.

Friday, August 14, 2009

The Collector (2009)

"The Collector" is about a young man who decides to break into a family's house and rob them.  Unfortunately for him, there is something already in the house.  The burglar realizes that he is not alone.  He tries to leave, but the locks are broken and the house is booby trapped.  The family, which was supposed to be out on a vacation, is still there and they are being tortured and killed by a man in a leather mask.  The burglar decides that he must save the family and himself from this madman.  

The film is a good entry to the torture genre, if you like that sort of thing.  I'm not crazy on the genre, but it is fun to watch.  There are some pretty elaborate set ups for deaths in this film.  The best one is probably when the teenage daughter gets flung into a wall of spikes.

The directing was pretty good for this picture.  Suspense was kept and it was eerie at times.  The acting was mediocre at best.  Cinematography wasn't the best.  There were several scenes where the film looked way too grainy.  It was a bit of a distraction.

Even though I do have problems with the film, it is something a horror/torture fan should see.  If you like the "Saw" films, you will be sure to love this.

B-  I recommend it.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

The Unborn (2009)

A little boy is haunting a young woman named Casey.  She sees him everywhere, including her dreams.  Casey's mother killed herself a few years earlier after going crazy.  Casey believes that the ghost and her mother's death is connected.  After going through her mother's things, Casey finds out that her mother tried to contact a woman at an institution.  Casey visits this woman and she finds out that the little boy is actually a demon that tries to survive in a human body.  The demon goes after twins and he was planning to be born as Casey's twin.  Unfortunately, Casey's twin died at birth.  Casey then has to be exorcised to rid herself of this haunting.

If this description sounds confusing, that is because the movie is confusing itself.  It is difficult to make sense of the whole thing and it requires more effort than I want to put in for an average horror movie.  The demon jumps from body to body and it is hard to really understand why the demon is after Casey when he can just use any body.  

A fun thing about the movie was spotting different character actors.  The film had two actors from one of my favorite television shows "Dexter".  Gary Oldman plays a rabbi and Casey is played by Odette Yustman.  She was in "Cloverfield" and I love that movie.  Yustman isn't a great actress.  She was good in "Cloverfield", but I don't think she has the talent to support an entire movie.  But she is incredibly hot, so that makes up for it.

The film wasn't that scary, but there was one sequence that really had me going.  Casey keeps hearing a knock in her medicine cabinet and every time she opens it, nothing is there.  That is, until one last time...  It really got me.

The best thing about "The Unborn" was the beginning.  Casey is sitting on a couch watching "The Invisible Man".  I would have rather watched that.

"The Unborn" is an average horror movie with good character actors.  It is nothing special.  It is the typical ghost movie.  It is nothing you haven't seen before.


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon (1943)

A man in Switzerland has invented a new weapon to bomb enemies in World War II.  England has made an agreement with this man so they can use his weapon.  Unfortunately, Germany knows about the man and they want him for their use.  It is up to Sherlock Holmes to protect this man and make sure that he does not fall into Nazi hands.

I never really watched any of the "Sherlock Holmes" films growing up and I regret that.  They are incredible.  They were produced by Universal in the late 1930s and 1940s.  They are filled with character actors that were on contract from Universal.  Since you all know I love the Universal Monster movies, the "Sherlock Holmes" movies are kind of like watching monster movies I have never seen.  All of the same actors, sets, directors, and music are used.  But besides its tie in with monsters, the "Holmes" films are great in their own right.

Basil Rathbone plays Sherlock Holmes and he is great in this role.  It is a perfect role for him.  He sort of reminds me of Indiana Jones because not only is he a great adventurer that can hold his own in a fight, but he is very intelligent as well.  The best thing about Holmes are the many disguises that he uses.  Many times he will use elaborate make-ups to go behind enemy lines.  I love these moments.  He does this twice in "The Secret Weapon".  While in Switzerland, he disguises himself as an old man selling books and when back home in England, he disguises himself as an ex-convict sailor.  These disguises really display the versatile acting abilities of Rathbone.

Nigel Bruce plays Watson in the "Holmes" films and he is great also.  He is perfect with his comedy relief.  He really plays well off of Rathbone.  When Watson is on screen, it is hard to keep a straight face.  His performance adds humor to what might be a serious mystery thriller.  It really helps move the story along.

Lionel Atwill plays the villain in "The Secret Weapon".  He is a mastermind criminal who is looking for the secret weapon himself.  Atwill does a good job in this role.  He was born to play criminal roles like this.  Atwill is always good in everything that he does.  Unfortunately his career came to a stand still after he was arrested by police for having a sex orgy at his residence.  

Roy William Neill directs "The Secret Weapon" and he does a good job.  Neill also directed one of my favorite films "Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man".  Neill has a good talent for creating mood and atmosphere.  He didn't work on any "A" pictures in his career, but he really was a great director.

"Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon" is great fun.  The film never lagged and I was always interested to see the different ways that Holmes solves his puzzles. 

B+  I recommend it.

Monday, August 3, 2009

The Fugitive (1993)

Harrison Ford plays a doctor who's wife is murdered.  Unfortunately for Ford, he has been framed.  Ford is arrested and sentenced, but thanks to a bus accident, he escapes.  He is on the run from the police, headed by Tommy Lee Jones.  While trying to avoid being caught, Ford does what he can to solve the puzzle of who killed his wife.

"The Fugitive" has one of the most famous scenes in movie history.  That scene is when Tommy Lee Jones finally catches up to Ford in a sewer drain.  The drain is part of a damn that is situated many feet above a flowing river.  To escape, Ford jumps.  This was a high point for the film.  

The film is a fun movie to watch.  You are on the edge of your seat, waiting to see what happens next, but you never really get the action you hope for.  I guess it is more realistic that way, but I wanted some good action.

Ford is good in the film, but Tommy Lee Jones seems to be overacting.  That doesn't mean that Jones is bad though.  He is a funny character because of the overacting.  I kind of wanted him to be a more serious character.  I think it would have made the whole chase more exciting.

Overall, "The Fugitive" is a fun movie to watch.  It kept my interest, but I wouldn't say it is very memorable.  If you haven't seen it, I would recommend it.  It is a fun movie to pass the time with, but it isn't something I would give a second viewing to.

B  I recommend it.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

The Terminator is back, but this time he has a new mission.  His mission is to protect John Connor himself!  At the same time, a new Terminator is sent back in time to kill John.  This Terminator is an updated version called the T-1000.  The T-1000 is made of liquid metal and it can turn into anything it touches.  The Terminator has quite the mission in store for him as he and Sarah protect John from the evil of the T-1000.

"T2" is far superior to "The Terminator" in every way.  Arnold is great in the movie and you really start to get close to the Terminator character.  As Sarah Connor says, the Terminator is the best father John could have.  He would always be there for him, he would never hurt him, and he would always protect him.  The Terminator is a learning computer, so there are some nice scenes of John teaching the Terminator different things.  The Terminator wants to know why people cry and John can't explain it.  The Terminator finally gets it in the end.  It really makes the audience tear up.  

Robert Patrick as the T-1000 is amazing.  His blank stare is incredibly eerie.  It is so hard for an actor to not show emotion, but still relate to the audience.  Schwarzenegger and Patrick did a wonderful job achieving this.

Not only is "T2" superior to "The Terminator" in story, but also in special effects and action.  The special effects are amazing in this film and it holds up today.  The T-1000 morphing from liquid metal is really a great effect and it was way ahead of its time.  It looks better than a lot of things that come out today.  "T2" is one of the most important films in cinematic history just for its use of new special effects.

The action scenes are much bigger and more elaborate than the first film.  The best action sequence is when the T-1000 is chasing the gang in a tanker truck.  At one point, the Terminator climbs onto the T-1000's truck and blasts him countless times with a machine gun only inches away from his face.  The Terminator then turns the truck's wheel causing it to flip over and crash.  It is one of the most exciting scenes to ever be filmed.  

"Terminator 2: Judgment Day" may be the best action film of all time.  I honestly believed this for a long time, until I saw "The Dark Knight".  It is very difficult to decide what is better, but "T2" might come out on top.  It is perfect in every way.

A  I recommend it.

The Terminator (1984)

Last Friday I saw a double feature of "The Terminator" and "Terminator 2" at the Aero Theater.  It was a great experience.

"The Terminator" is a story about a young woman named Sarah Connor.  In the future, she will have a son who ends up leading an army of people after the world has been destroyed by machines.  Kyle Reese is a soldier in the future world and he is sent back in time to protect Sarah Connor.  She needs protection because the machines sent a Terminator back in time to kill Sarah.  Reese does whatever he can to ensure the safety of Sarah Connor.

"The Terminator" is a great sci-fi movie.  It is very interesting to see the way they handle time travel and it all sort of makes sense in some strange way.  The film is also very scary due to Arnold Schwarzenegger's role.  The Terminator role is perfect for Arnold.  He is menacing and he is very machine like in his speech delivery and actions.  

My favorite scene has to be the scene where Arnold repairs himself in a hotel room.  His eyeball has been destroyed, so he uses a razor blade to cut the eyeball out, which reveals his natural machine eye.  For much of this scene, a mechanical robot stood in for Arnold, so the effect could be pulled off.  It is a very good robot that looks very much like Schwarzenegger.  

James Cameron does a great job in directing this film.  It is exhausting by the time you get to the end.  The Terminator can not be stopped.  Every time the audience thinks he is dead, he comes back.  He is relentless.  "The Terminator" also has a nice love story between Reese and Sarah Connor.  Reese has been in love with Sarah since her son first told him about her.  They end up having a night of passion together.  It is a very nice love scene.

The special effects in "The Terminator" are a mixed bag.  Some of the effects really hold up, but the stop motion effects do not.  Stan Winston did an incredible job creating the Terminator endoskeleton and the make-up on Schwarzenegger is great.  During the final scenes when the Terminator driving the truck, chasing Sarah and Reese, Schwarzenegger looks so scary.  The cuts go from "Real Arnold" to "Machine Arnold" many different times, but it all looks great.  It is during this time that I think the Terminator is most frightening.  

"The Terminator" is a great start to a wonderful franchise.  The film started the careers for both Schwarzenegger and Cameron.  It is obvious why.

B+  I recommend it.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Porky's (1982)

"Porky's" is the story of a group of high school kids in the 1950s dealing with one thing: sex.  Some of them are virgins and they want to lose their virginity.  They decide to visit a whorehouse called Porky's.  After Porky takes their money and kicks them out, a revenge plot is planned to take Porky out.  

"Porky's" is different than what I expected.  It is constantly about sex.  It never slows down to really build stories.  It is just hilarity followed by hilarity.  

Kim Cattrall is in this picture and she plays a gym teacher.  Another gym teacher starts to go out with her, but he is being teased by his fellow co-worker about it.  The co-worker keeps referring to Cattrall as Lassie.  He will not say why though.  One day, the gym teacher and Cattrall go into the boy's locker room and they start to have sex, since the smell of boy's dirty clothes turns Cattrall on.  Once they start, she starts howling extremely loud, much like a dog.  He finally figures it out.  This was a pretty funny scene.  The best part of the scene is that everyone in the gym can hear them and their reactions are great.

My favorite scene is when one of the boys puts his penis in a hole in the girl's shower room.  The ugly, obese female gym teacher sees this and grabs on.  She holds on for dear life, but he finally gets free.  She then runs to the Principal's office and demands a penis lineup.  It was hilarious!

Even though "Porky's" lacks in developing a deep relationship with any one character, it is still a fun movie.  There are many funny scenes and the comedy holds up today.

B  I recommend it.